Choices

Do you ever stop to think at how important the choices you make are and what impacts they will have on your future and for how long a single choice will impact you? Is there such an emotion as pre-regret?

Seems the older I get the more important my choices become; with my body changing at what feels to be a super accelerated pace, even decisions or choices about what to have for dinner seem to have such great impact on my life. Is the fun of choice gone once you hit 30? 

Every decision comes with a choice; every selection of a choice that becomes a decision yields a consequence or outcome that usually leads to more.  It is as if the days of whimsical, finite decisions you were making for three decades before are over. 

When your 10-15 years old or younger even, it’s about instinct and impulse, the fast and furious years. From 16-19 as a man, your decisions are mainly made with other organs besides your brain and from 18-26 you begin to realize that your choices will shape your future, but still you lack the life experience to give you pause. By the time I hit 30, life decisions have become less instinctual, and more introspective. The results of my choices no longer melt away with the candles of my next Birthday cake; they linger. 

My thoughts lately have been about the choices I need to make and will make. As mentioned in a previous article, I do not have too many regrets, so choices of the past typically do not haunt me; it is the choices I make now that I find terrifying.  They also seem to be bigger, pre-30 decisions are much like a pebble thrown into a lake the ripples are small and the effect more localized, but the post 30 choices are more like throwing a boulder into a swimming pool. 

I find it takes me more time to make my choices than it did in previous years, I find they come with pre-regret and the awareness that they shape decades of my future. Pre-regret is the “what if” feeling you get when you have almost chosen which path to take.  This pause and this pre-regret I find terribly daunting. In many ways I miss the times when I made snap decisions where they yielded a positive or negative outcome never seemed to matter. 

Do you lose the introspective dialogue again at 40? Is everything so damn serious for the rest of eternity? Do you ever get the whimsical back? 

Food for thought – I hope this will open some meaningful discussion.

Review of Ambiente - Čestr: A great new addition to Prague steak!

It has been a while - but I am back with the tip of the year!

The Ambiente Group has come to the table with a bang up version of a Czech Steak House called Čestr. The restaurant is located in the old venue for Garden at the Opera, just on the back part of the OLD Radio Liberty Building next to the National Museum, the official opening is 15th of April, but it has been open under a "soft" opening since February (25% discount for all guests before the official opening).


Service - Pretty Good
(Better than good, but not quite very good)

Food - Excellent 
(If you know me that is a very high compliment, there is only one, maybe two restaurants that get that rating or higher in my book in Prague)


Atmosphere - Comfortable/Friendly
(Unique and welcoming, but not mind numbingly amazing)

In the last ten days, I have eaten at this restaurant a total of four times.

The service in my opinion has been carried by two super stars on their staff - One of the greatest highlights has been one of the delightful back-up waiters, the 20 year old 'beer boy,' Jirka. He knows all there is to know about beer and beer drinks and he always greets with a smile and an infectious enthusiasm that forces you to enjoy your stay there.  If you are lucky enough to get him to bring you one of the 'Beer Aperitifs' and deliver you beer on a regular basis you can count yourself in the lucky few.  The rest of the wait staff while efficient and polite have a lesson or two to learn from the 20 year old 'beer boy' in how to make you want to stay, order more and tip well beyond your expectations.

The second is the jolly man who comes out from behind the kitchen from time to time and always has a smile and a genuine concern of your well being.  I will get his name on my next visit! He takes service a step further than just going through the motions.


Tip to the management: GET SEAT NUMBERS - I am tired of helping the waiters figure out what goes where and with steaks of various temperatures and cuts as well as the numerous side dishes and sauces its just chaos every time... figure it out!

I waited tables for four years throughout university, I never asked the customers to help me do my job, why should I? Also worth a note here is that in four visits I was only offered a wine list ONCE and halfway through my meal... not a great way to up-sell.

Food!!! Where to begin... I have tried the Rib eye, Sirloin, Entrecote, Strip loin, and the wine basted ribs. Sirloin, Entrecote as well as the hard to get Rib eye steaks come highly recommended, soft, tender, full of flavor and always cooked perfectly.  The Strip loin was a bit tough and lacked any flavor at all, while the meat on the ribs was excellent when you could find it among the piles of fatty cellulite looking ick. If you actually do not mind fishing through fat to get to your dinner then try the ribs as the flavor is unique and bursts out in your mouth while the meat so tender it just melts (order 2 portions for a normal size portion of meat).

Side dishes are all you can eat!!!  Need I say more??? Well I will anyway... Best sides; carrots (fresh and full of flavor), spinach (finally a restaurant that does NOT cover up the earthy taste with garlic, cheese, onion or cream), french fries (home made and fried to perfection, so much flavor and fried goodness) and finally worth a mention and gold star - the potato dumplings (so utterly unique, buttery, smooth and tasty, a must try! Nine years in Prague and these are the best dumplings I have ever tasted).  While other side dishes I tried were OK, they were not worthy of noting either for being good or bad, they were just standard.

Starters and soups and desserts I have saved for last as they are my biggest disappointments on the menu - There are so many wonderful soups that can be made from beef stock that just putting a broth with no meat and a splatter of homemade noodles does not live up to the rest of the menu. Not to mention, both the carrot soup and the broth were room temperature... and drab both in temperature and flavor.

The choice of starters it rather good, though all four times had trouble to find tastes that suited me, tonight I chose to go without... I hope as the restaurant changes the menu daily that they will occasionally have something to excite me as much as the 'beer boy' to start my meal with.

Finally, the desserts while at first glance and first visit it feels like there are so many to choose from and that you want to try them all... I have... and sadly can't say that any of them are executed to perfection (Cheesecake was OK, Chocolate cake was OK, Chocolate Fondue gets cold too fast)... with the exception of one star!!!  The poppy seed buns in a vanilla creme - while many Czech moms and grand moms can sometimes make them like led balloons, Čestr has made them light and filled with all the wholesome goodness you can expect with a vanilla creme to crave long after the dish is finished!!!

The overall atmosphere is nice, one friend compared it to a hospital cafeteria, but frankly I find it unique and welcoming. It is bright, light, inviting and open with a very bohemian Czech feel to it. It matches well with the food, and I think that in time it will remain friendly and welcoming rather than daunting as some of the downstairs dungeons of the Ambiente Group tend to get after a handful of visits, though I would love a bit more ventilation.  The no smoking policy only adds to my immense love of this restaurant. 

Overall, I have to rate this as a great experience and one worth doing on a regular basis as the menu changes daily. Currently, if you go before the opening they are offering a 25% discount to all patrons to help foster a great learning environment for the staff before the grand opening next month.  The average price per person with the discount on each of my visits with beers, starters, mains and desserts was around 500-600CZK per person.

If you have been there or will go after reading this, post your experience; I would be curious to know if you all feel the same about it as I do!?!?

Shout It From The Rooftops!

I was challenged by one of my younger readers to write something more positive than my previous posts; this has proven to be a more difficult challenge than expected.

The simple fact is that it has taken me the better half of a month and the entry into 2011 to post; I dare say that I have failed the challenge. Being 30 something does not always allow for the care free ramblings that were requested. 

Just a side note on being 30 something, I wonder sometimes (often actually) if being 30 is like the hazing period to get into the county club of life. The carefree life I once reveled in seems not to be attainable at the moment. I do hope this will someday pass.

Back to my challenge, however, looking back though my posts I can say confidently that hidden within the shadows of my stories always lurks a positive message or a learning experience.

So let me try to start this New Year on a positive note and a deliver in turn a challenge to my readers as well.

January is a time for change, a chance to make proclamations and resolutions for the incoming New Year. So I ask…

What happened to your resolution from last year? Have you accomplished it?  Have you even started it?  Did you lose weight, quit smoking and become a better person?

If you were successful, do you have advice for others?  If yes; please share! 

If you failed; what steps did you take to succeed?

I have never actually made an official New Year’s resolution before, but here is my advice for making yours succeed for 2011.

GO PUBLIC!  GO LIVE! DON’T WAIT! SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!! PLASTER IT ON YOUR WALLS! See it, hear it, feel it everywhere…

The more public you make it, the more you write it down and tell it to others the more you will re-enforce it in your own psyche. Additionally, if everyone knows your goal for 2011 and you talk about it all year (NOT ONLY JANUARY) then when you succeed you will become a success story… Stories are something passed on to friends and family they live on well past the act of success. However, if you fail, you fail publicly and no one likes to be embarrassed. Consider these factors as secondary motivation.

The drive to succeed in the eyes of others motivates and drives our society; why should it be any different for your New Year’s resolution?

So here is my resolution for 2011 – I will lose 10 kilo by the end of the year and I will travel more frequently by public transportation in the effort to live a more active lifestyle.

With my resolution now public, I challenge all of you to post your resolutions here in my comments section, on your Facebook walls, scream it to your friends, and tell everyone you come into contact with not only today, not only before you complete you goal but everyday even after you complete it until 2012!

I will leave you now with some words from Kevin Spacey playing Jack Abramoff (not such a great guy, but interesting movie intro) in a movie called Casino Jack to help inspire you for the New Year.  

You know, I do a lot of reading and studying and praying and I have come to a few conclusions I want to share. People look at politicians and celebrities on the TV, in the newspapers and glossy magazines - What do they see?  

I am just like them I am special, I am different I could be any one of them.

Well guess what, you can’t! You know why?  Because in reality mediocrity is where most people live – mediocrity is the elephant in the room, its ubiquitous - Mediocrity in your schools, it’s in your dreams, it’s in your family.

Those of us who know this, those of us that understand the disease of the dull we do something about it, we do more because we have to! The deck was always stacked against us. You’re either a big leaguer or you’re a slave clawing your way on the C train every day…

I will not allow my family to be slaves, I will not allow the world I touch to be vanilla, you say I am selfish f$@k you, you say I have a big ego, f%$k you twice!!!

I am humbly grateful for the gifts I received on this planet and I work out every day!

Good luck and have a safe, happy, healthy 2011!

"OOOOH THAT Mark Anderson"

This past Saturday I went out, something I do so rarely these days… I went for a lovely dinner at Monarch on Kolkovna (Good food, nice wine list and terrible service) followed by an evening out with my best friend and some of his friends at Tretter's (As usual a nice atmosphere let down by SOME members of its wait staff) after 3-4 drinks or about 2 hours, I had the great pleasure to make the acquaintance of a beautiful Dutch woman.

As is the norm for a first encounter of two expats in Prague we shared our stories (How we got here, what we do for fun, what we do for work and any other accomplishments worth mentioning).  After just a few moments my respect meter began to climb hearing her story, I was truly amazed by all she had to say from both her professional life to her private life, a true inspiration.  Then as most normal first meetings go, it was my turn to share, who I am, who I have become over my time in Prague, etc.   

I shared my standard introductory story, i.e. owned my own business at 23, started EBA by 24, went to GE Money at 28 had some ups and downs since, currently getting my MSc at Prague College, etc.  Then to clarify, she asked about my cleaning company and EBA, and then she exclaimed with some surprise and shock “Oh your THAT Mark Anderson…”

To which I proudly answered “Yes”

I do not regret who I was from the ages of 23-30. I was tough, aggressive, and outspoken; often confused, scared, and intimidated.  I accomplished what some have not accomplished in decades of trying; I made some choices which shaped my future for both positive and negative.  I will no longer apologize for who I was, it is in the past, and I hope that we can let it stay there.  

If anything I look at those years as my first Masters Degree in International Business.  I learned how to succeed and handle success and I learned how to fail. I learned how to play with the big boys, and I learned how to be diplomatic. I learned how to be screwed and I learned how to be screwed royally... I learned that no matter how hard you try you will never overcome your shortfalls unless you own them, accept them, mature from them, learn from them and MOVE ON. 

While this next statement may seem a bit grandiose, the stories of “THAT Mark Anderson” have become bit of a folk legend, some hold a little truth, some hold a lot of truth and some hold no truth at all.  Some of them I am aware of and some I am not aware of  - So please feel free to just ask me to clarify something for you should you be one of those perpetuating the rumors or folk lore, because honestly, it’s time for it to stop.   

If I can grow up at 31, I hope those that carry on spreading such tall tales can grow up as well, so both I and they can move on with their lives.

I am not perfect, but I am seasoned, I am strong, I have learned from my mistakes and have become a well rounded individual deserving of a second chance. 

My Final Apology – Owning My Wrongs

I openly admit I made some funny and not so funny faux pas in my 20’s, and I could occasionally be downright rude to those who I felt hurt or betrayed me in some way.  I was scandalous in my personal life and I offended many without even knowing it.  I was aggressive and tough on my employees, and I earned a lot of respect and money too quickly and I abused the privilege.    

One thing I have not done is to cheat or steal from ANYONE, EVER so let those rumors be proved or dismissed. 

I apologize to those that feel or felt wronged by me and I hope you will understand that I was in a very new place in my life and was not very adult in all my decisions.  Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think it may be relevant to… 

And please, let’s move on.

And to my new anonymous Dutch lady friend – Thank you for not pre-judging me and for such a wonderful evening! I hope we will have many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not built to BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has been the week from hell!!!  Anyone else that feels the same feel free to say so!  I lost a friend and someone I admired to a premature death, I lost an election for a local non-profit association board, and my partner and I decided to split after three years.

So how do you deal with it?  How do you cope with the loss of a loved one? How do you "pick up the pieces?" How do you react?  Are you embarrassed? Are you humiliated? Are you angry? What will people think? Do you write about it or do you try and hide it?  Will people understand or be judgmental? 

I don't know the answer to any of these questions, and these and so many more I have been asking myself over the weekend. Most importantly though, I asked myself is there a correct way to deal with the pain of loss?

I came to this conclusion  - I have not lost anything! 7 days ago I was not a board member and today I am also not a board member, so what did I lose? My friend that passed may he rest in peace was not an active part of my life for the last year or so and though I will miss him terribly, and feel the world has lost a positive energy that deserved to be here, I have not lost him because I will always remember him same as I did 7 days ago. I have not lost a partner, but gained 3 years of positive memories and a dear friend that I will care about for a long time to come.   So what have I really lost? Nothing!

Many people get paralyzed by the pain of loss, I too must say that I fear being paralyzed by the pain, but so many people that comfort those in a loss situation advise "what does not kill us will make us stronger..." I  am not so sure of the validity of this statement, I think I was strong before the loss. Did it some how make me more resilient for future loss? No, not really as each loss is different and comes with a different type of pain, I don't think past experiences of pain some how make you more resilient. In fact, I think the opposite.

I think what makes me stronger is my ability to rely on friends, my ability to rely on common sense and logic, and my ability to compartmentalize and stay focused.  I do not think additional pain or loss will some how strengthen these abilities, they are not muscles that need to be worked out, you either have it or you don't. 

My advice to others that have lost loved ones or recently parted ways with an ex or had a setback at work is to take a deep breath, try and figure out what you had the day before the loss and objectively decide if you really did lose something or if you gained an opportunity. This will not work in all situations for sure, but it will work in many, and sometimes loss is just that, an opportunity gained. Look on the positive side, dust yourself off and move on with your life and look for the opportunities that will present themselves.

If my words of wisdom don't help you or work for you try a little listen here...
Whitney Houston - "I Didn't Know My Own Strength"

Seeing this performance on Oprah in 2009 changed my life and I hope it will change yours too!

Are you a racist?

This weekend I had a terrible thing happen – I was scammed… but the worst part was not the scam or the potential loss of funds but the response…

On Saturday evening I went to withdraw money from a bank machine just nearby my apartment.  I completed the transaction flawlessly, however, when it was time for the money was to dispense to me, to my surprise, it did not!!  Instead I noticed a metal plate which I thought might have been an inactive dispenser door, but after further investigation realized it was just a metal plate… Was the machine out of order? Was I scammed? 

Either way I instantly called the 800 help line listed on the ATM. I was told, sorry there was nothing he could do to help me. I asked for a technician, I was told "Bohužel" it is Saturday night and it cannot be done.  Then I asked if at least he could make a record of my call, i.e. take my name and number and I was told "sorry we don't do that..." Don't do that?  Hmm... How helpful was the helpline after all???

Many of us foreigners would refer to this incident as "Typically Czech,"  while incredibly frustrating though I realized getting so upset would not solve the issue.  The money is gone, and hopefully will return someday... or maybe not... After 8+ years here I have come to accept what is "typically Czech."  I accept it because I have accepted the culture.  I have stopped referring to things as "typically Czech"  because I realized that it is offensive.  Czechs, like any other culture in the world have their own way and operate on their own time.  But all too often, many of us foreigners take for granted that Czech have their own unique culture, and identity which comes with a whole lot of baggage.  

Just because Czechs are typically Caucasian and resemble North Americans or other Western Europeans does not mean they are like us.  If we go to China, most of us will read a book on how to behave, how to hand a business card, how to eat, how to settle a restaurant bill... but do we give the Czech people the same courtesy?  Why not?  

The conclusion I come to is that we do not respect their culture, for all its good and for all its bad, we just assume since they look like us, they should have the same values, and work ethic and attitudes as us... Is this fair? Is it realistic?  

If you are a foreigner please do one thing the next time you get fustrated and feel like shouting "THAT'S TYPICALLY CZECH!!!!!!!!!" Remember you are a guest in this country, it is YOU that is foreign, and know that is IS typically Czech, it is thier unique style, culture and mentality and who are you to say its wrong?

Use the litmus test: If I were in China or Japan would I be so upset and racist?

If you are Czech: How do you feel when you hear a foreigner say something like this? Do you agree or disagree? Is being typically Czech a bad thing?

If you are a foreigner: Are you aware of your racism? Do you treat Czech with respect? Do you respect their individuality and national heritage?

You’re Too Damn Old!

So when are you too old – in business?

I was recently watching a TV series called “Hell’s Kitchen,” a reality TV show featuring Gordon Ramsey mentoring a group of want-to-be chefs where each week a chef is eliminated until a finalist wins some cash and a spot as an Executive Chef in one of Ramsey’s exclusive restaurants.

Season by season Chef Ramsey singled out the absolute best chefs from the group based on their ability to control the kitchen, create and execute top class delights and on their natural talent in the kitchen.  Some really fantastic cooks were transformed throughout the 13 week seasons into true executive chef material.  In fact, some even impressed from start to finish… but in each final he selected the younger of the two finalists, usually a young lady in her 20’s.

Is he just a pig or was he selecting the right chef for the right reasons? He stated at the end of one season that he chose the younger of the two (the second only being mid-late thirties) because she would be easier to shape, mold and train as his Executive Chef.

So when is old too old? 30? 35? At what point are you no longer able to be shaped and molded, trained into a fierce working machine? Is this the trend? 

In my personal experience with marketing departments and agencies I have worked with there were only a handful of over 30’s and several of them started with the company in their late 20’s.  When did seasoning and experience become a bad quality? Even many companies owned by friends have teams or flocks of 20 somethings running about.  Do these recently adolescent young men and women hold the secret to eternal youth? Do they make management feel young again? Are their results so much better than the 30 and 40 somethings? Is it a cost issue – Do you get what you pay for?

I think as the world turns and technology makes things faster and smaller so too has the HR mentality changed to younger and younger.  They have unlimited reasons why younger is better and it always seems justified at the time, but is it? When is older better?

I think this mentality is flawed, younger may mean hungrier at times, may mean they will start for less, but I know that the mistakes and teachings of my 20’s made me the well rounded man I am today at 31.  Many who know me or knew me in my 20’s remember a lot of good and bad traits about me as a person, but more importantly, me as a business man.  I think many of the good traits still exist a decade later, but as a good wine or cheese become much robust with age, more mature and more ready to really experience life from both a passive and active side.  I do not feel any less hungry for success, but I have learned how to be successful in a more positive meaningful way.

I simply have a library of experiences to reference about reading people, understanding problematic situations, reacting to needs of others that I did not have a decade ago. 

While by Gordon Ramsey’s standards, I might be a dinosaur at 31 – I hold out hope that the trend of entrusting titles like executive chef to 20 somethings will turn and as with all things that are great in life (beef, cheese, wine) people will begin to once again appreciate the wisdom of a decade or two.

Do you have 20 somethings working for you?  Why? Would you hire a 20 something over a 30 something?  Please share your thoughts!