"OOOOH THAT Mark Anderson"

This past Saturday I went out, something I do so rarely these days… I went for a lovely dinner at Monarch on Kolkovna (Good food, nice wine list and terrible service) followed by an evening out with my best friend and some of his friends at Tretter's (As usual a nice atmosphere let down by SOME members of its wait staff) after 3-4 drinks or about 2 hours, I had the great pleasure to make the acquaintance of a beautiful Dutch woman.

As is the norm for a first encounter of two expats in Prague we shared our stories (How we got here, what we do for fun, what we do for work and any other accomplishments worth mentioning).  After just a few moments my respect meter began to climb hearing her story, I was truly amazed by all she had to say from both her professional life to her private life, a true inspiration.  Then as most normal first meetings go, it was my turn to share, who I am, who I have become over my time in Prague, etc.   

I shared my standard introductory story, i.e. owned my own business at 23, started EBA by 24, went to GE Money at 28 had some ups and downs since, currently getting my MSc at Prague College, etc.  Then to clarify, she asked about my cleaning company and EBA, and then she exclaimed with some surprise and shock “Oh your THAT Mark Anderson…”

To which I proudly answered “Yes”

I do not regret who I was from the ages of 23-30. I was tough, aggressive, and outspoken; often confused, scared, and intimidated.  I accomplished what some have not accomplished in decades of trying; I made some choices which shaped my future for both positive and negative.  I will no longer apologize for who I was, it is in the past, and I hope that we can let it stay there.  

If anything I look at those years as my first Masters Degree in International Business.  I learned how to succeed and handle success and I learned how to fail. I learned how to play with the big boys, and I learned how to be diplomatic. I learned how to be screwed and I learned how to be screwed royally... I learned that no matter how hard you try you will never overcome your shortfalls unless you own them, accept them, mature from them, learn from them and MOVE ON. 

While this next statement may seem a bit grandiose, the stories of “THAT Mark Anderson” have become bit of a folk legend, some hold a little truth, some hold a lot of truth and some hold no truth at all.  Some of them I am aware of and some I am not aware of  - So please feel free to just ask me to clarify something for you should you be one of those perpetuating the rumors or folk lore, because honestly, it’s time for it to stop.   

If I can grow up at 31, I hope those that carry on spreading such tall tales can grow up as well, so both I and they can move on with their lives.

I am not perfect, but I am seasoned, I am strong, I have learned from my mistakes and have become a well rounded individual deserving of a second chance. 

My Final Apology – Owning My Wrongs

I openly admit I made some funny and not so funny faux pas in my 20’s, and I could occasionally be downright rude to those who I felt hurt or betrayed me in some way.  I was scandalous in my personal life and I offended many without even knowing it.  I was aggressive and tough on my employees, and I earned a lot of respect and money too quickly and I abused the privilege.    

One thing I have not done is to cheat or steal from ANYONE, EVER so let those rumors be proved or dismissed. 

I apologize to those that feel or felt wronged by me and I hope you will understand that I was in a very new place in my life and was not very adult in all my decisions.  Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think it may be relevant to… 

And please, let’s move on.

And to my new anonymous Dutch lady friend – Thank you for not pre-judging me and for such a wonderful evening! I hope we will have many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not built to BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has been the week from hell!!!  Anyone else that feels the same feel free to say so!  I lost a friend and someone I admired to a premature death, I lost an election for a local non-profit association board, and my partner and I decided to split after three years.

So how do you deal with it?  How do you cope with the loss of a loved one? How do you "pick up the pieces?" How do you react?  Are you embarrassed? Are you humiliated? Are you angry? What will people think? Do you write about it or do you try and hide it?  Will people understand or be judgmental? 

I don't know the answer to any of these questions, and these and so many more I have been asking myself over the weekend. Most importantly though, I asked myself is there a correct way to deal with the pain of loss?

I came to this conclusion  - I have not lost anything! 7 days ago I was not a board member and today I am also not a board member, so what did I lose? My friend that passed may he rest in peace was not an active part of my life for the last year or so and though I will miss him terribly, and feel the world has lost a positive energy that deserved to be here, I have not lost him because I will always remember him same as I did 7 days ago. I have not lost a partner, but gained 3 years of positive memories and a dear friend that I will care about for a long time to come.   So what have I really lost? Nothing!

Many people get paralyzed by the pain of loss, I too must say that I fear being paralyzed by the pain, but so many people that comfort those in a loss situation advise "what does not kill us will make us stronger..." I  am not so sure of the validity of this statement, I think I was strong before the loss. Did it some how make me more resilient for future loss? No, not really as each loss is different and comes with a different type of pain, I don't think past experiences of pain some how make you more resilient. In fact, I think the opposite.

I think what makes me stronger is my ability to rely on friends, my ability to rely on common sense and logic, and my ability to compartmentalize and stay focused.  I do not think additional pain or loss will some how strengthen these abilities, they are not muscles that need to be worked out, you either have it or you don't. 

My advice to others that have lost loved ones or recently parted ways with an ex or had a setback at work is to take a deep breath, try and figure out what you had the day before the loss and objectively decide if you really did lose something or if you gained an opportunity. This will not work in all situations for sure, but it will work in many, and sometimes loss is just that, an opportunity gained. Look on the positive side, dust yourself off and move on with your life and look for the opportunities that will present themselves.

If my words of wisdom don't help you or work for you try a little listen here...
Whitney Houston - "I Didn't Know My Own Strength"

Seeing this performance on Oprah in 2009 changed my life and I hope it will change yours too!

Are you a racist?

This weekend I had a terrible thing happen – I was scammed… but the worst part was not the scam or the potential loss of funds but the response…

On Saturday evening I went to withdraw money from a bank machine just nearby my apartment.  I completed the transaction flawlessly, however, when it was time for the money was to dispense to me, to my surprise, it did not!!  Instead I noticed a metal plate which I thought might have been an inactive dispenser door, but after further investigation realized it was just a metal plate… Was the machine out of order? Was I scammed? 

Either way I instantly called the 800 help line listed on the ATM. I was told, sorry there was nothing he could do to help me. I asked for a technician, I was told "Bohužel" it is Saturday night and it cannot be done.  Then I asked if at least he could make a record of my call, i.e. take my name and number and I was told "sorry we don't do that..." Don't do that?  Hmm... How helpful was the helpline after all???

Many of us foreigners would refer to this incident as "Typically Czech,"  while incredibly frustrating though I realized getting so upset would not solve the issue.  The money is gone, and hopefully will return someday... or maybe not... After 8+ years here I have come to accept what is "typically Czech."  I accept it because I have accepted the culture.  I have stopped referring to things as "typically Czech"  because I realized that it is offensive.  Czechs, like any other culture in the world have their own way and operate on their own time.  But all too often, many of us foreigners take for granted that Czech have their own unique culture, and identity which comes with a whole lot of baggage.  

Just because Czechs are typically Caucasian and resemble North Americans or other Western Europeans does not mean they are like us.  If we go to China, most of us will read a book on how to behave, how to hand a business card, how to eat, how to settle a restaurant bill... but do we give the Czech people the same courtesy?  Why not?  

The conclusion I come to is that we do not respect their culture, for all its good and for all its bad, we just assume since they look like us, they should have the same values, and work ethic and attitudes as us... Is this fair? Is it realistic?  

If you are a foreigner please do one thing the next time you get fustrated and feel like shouting "THAT'S TYPICALLY CZECH!!!!!!!!!" Remember you are a guest in this country, it is YOU that is foreign, and know that is IS typically Czech, it is thier unique style, culture and mentality and who are you to say its wrong?

Use the litmus test: If I were in China or Japan would I be so upset and racist?

If you are Czech: How do you feel when you hear a foreigner say something like this? Do you agree or disagree? Is being typically Czech a bad thing?

If you are a foreigner: Are you aware of your racism? Do you treat Czech with respect? Do you respect their individuality and national heritage?

You’re Too Damn Old!

So when are you too old – in business?

I was recently watching a TV series called “Hell’s Kitchen,” a reality TV show featuring Gordon Ramsey mentoring a group of want-to-be chefs where each week a chef is eliminated until a finalist wins some cash and a spot as an Executive Chef in one of Ramsey’s exclusive restaurants.

Season by season Chef Ramsey singled out the absolute best chefs from the group based on their ability to control the kitchen, create and execute top class delights and on their natural talent in the kitchen.  Some really fantastic cooks were transformed throughout the 13 week seasons into true executive chef material.  In fact, some even impressed from start to finish… but in each final he selected the younger of the two finalists, usually a young lady in her 20’s.

Is he just a pig or was he selecting the right chef for the right reasons? He stated at the end of one season that he chose the younger of the two (the second only being mid-late thirties) because she would be easier to shape, mold and train as his Executive Chef.

So when is old too old? 30? 35? At what point are you no longer able to be shaped and molded, trained into a fierce working machine? Is this the trend? 

In my personal experience with marketing departments and agencies I have worked with there were only a handful of over 30’s and several of them started with the company in their late 20’s.  When did seasoning and experience become a bad quality? Even many companies owned by friends have teams or flocks of 20 somethings running about.  Do these recently adolescent young men and women hold the secret to eternal youth? Do they make management feel young again? Are their results so much better than the 30 and 40 somethings? Is it a cost issue – Do you get what you pay for?

I think as the world turns and technology makes things faster and smaller so too has the HR mentality changed to younger and younger.  They have unlimited reasons why younger is better and it always seems justified at the time, but is it? When is older better?

I think this mentality is flawed, younger may mean hungrier at times, may mean they will start for less, but I know that the mistakes and teachings of my 20’s made me the well rounded man I am today at 31.  Many who know me or knew me in my 20’s remember a lot of good and bad traits about me as a person, but more importantly, me as a business man.  I think many of the good traits still exist a decade later, but as a good wine or cheese become much robust with age, more mature and more ready to really experience life from both a passive and active side.  I do not feel any less hungry for success, but I have learned how to be successful in a more positive meaningful way.

I simply have a library of experiences to reference about reading people, understanding problematic situations, reacting to needs of others that I did not have a decade ago. 

While by Gordon Ramsey’s standards, I might be a dinosaur at 31 – I hold out hope that the trend of entrusting titles like executive chef to 20 somethings will turn and as with all things that are great in life (beef, cheese, wine) people will begin to once again appreciate the wisdom of a decade or two.

Do you have 20 somethings working for you?  Why? Would you hire a 20 something over a 30 something?  Please share your thoughts!

I Have a God-Given Right to Blog! Do You?

Who gives me the right to blog?  Is it God-given?  

Do I have a right to blog? Should I blog? Is what I have to say relevant?  Will anyone care? Am I using this as an exercise of mental health?  Do 'I' care too much about what 'I' have to say?

(Yes people, I know at this point you are all asking… who gives me the right to blog, I will expect lots of comments, hopefully not too harsh)

These are questions everyone should ask themselves before starting a blog, some get scared off by the thought of it.  The putting of your ideas and thoughts forward for an unforgiving public to point and exclaim its a work of genius or criticize that it is a glorious failure of epic proportions is a frighting proposition for most.  The truth is, most likely you will not be lucky enough to get either... and that is truly the worst critique you can receive and what you should fear the most.

Based on what I can find out there in the blogosphere (By the way Microsoft word does not consider that word an error…) there are four types of bloggers. I will give a type or two at the end from my personal love/hate list.

1. Those who have something to say, have an audience in mind, and can write with at least a touch of eloquence and keep their readers interested through new information, interesting topics, unique insights or even with controversial quips.  Either way, they apply some effort and thought into what they do (I hope Anderson Says fits into this category – Let me know).  My likes: Mashable (business and personal), Kottke.org and I try to follow from time to time Errol Morris.
2. Those who feel they have to blog – some celebrities, companies, executives, business owners, etc… Half are pushed into it either by a marketing department, PR department, some sort of specialist or even a spouse.  But the bloggers apathy can always shine through if the blog is not genuine. These are the types that start with a heavy posting schedule and slowly die out or never get any type of critical mass moving simply because it is someone else that cares, not them. I really had to do some research here, because frankly I don't like to waste my time... but survey says Britney Spears (how very toxic indeed Brit!), Victoria Beckham, and honestly, I feel a bit dirty and less of a person after reading... Too bad its not a book or I certainly would have Burned After Reading...
   
3. Those with no true insight, no gift of writing (even basic), no original ideas, or people that are just too lazy to use a simple blogging tool to help them set up a reasonable assemblage of something nice to see, useful or user friendly.  The bottom line is they are just lazy. I think there is an endless supply, no need really for examples.
   
4. Whining – cry babies – dirt mongers and other such dregs on our society - that should not even be allowed to use the internet to be fair… They fill our monitors with such crap that it can sometimes make you laugh that someone can actually be that dim, but in fact should make you cry that this is what actually comes out of our school systems. Blogo-trash!

So… I have included some examples in the above hyper links, but as you can see I have stayed away from citing local sites – Maybe a fear of persecution… oh I mean retribution syndrome…  Or maybe just a chance for us to see what will develop with their blogs over the next year or so before I join the blog-bashing-bandwagon. 

The logical questions at this point:

Why do people in groups 2-4 keep blogging?  Can anyone make them stop? Why do we keep reading? Will they ruin it for the rest of us?  Will people be so sick and tired of all the blogo-trash that the way-of-the-blog will die out?

I say – Let them blog!  I can always block their page; stop following it or blog-bash it later! 

We do have a God-given right to blog and it is a tool for stable mental health and yes, sometimes people do care about what you have to say.  Hopefully, and in best case scenarios, what you have to say might open eyes to new ideas, new insights and new cultures!

So what do you think?  Who gets the right to blog? Who should just stop?  Who gets hurt by blogo-trash?  Do too many people put too much stock into what others say?

Under Promise & Over Deliver

Expectation management is a great place to start. It is a great place to start when meeting a new friend, it is a great place to start when you enter a new job, it is a great place to start when offering marketing projects or launching a new campaign and even when starting to write a new blog.

The key to expectation management is to balance the act of under promising and over delivering.  How low can you go? How well do you know yourself?  How much do you trust your abilities? How well do you know your audience? If you set the bar too low will you lose what you intended to gain before you start?  If you set the bar too high have you opened yourself up for failure? 

As a first leap into the great unknown I launch this blog today with the hopes to use these words and this space to share my insights on daily encounters anything from my experience today at lunch (went to small CzechMex joint that serves the nicest portion of chicken steak with a white cream pepper sauce, though can't recommend much else) to my insights into event management/direct contact marketing and its usefulness in growing a business or building a brand or even my opinions on latest news, world events and whats its like to be 30 something.


I expect an active audience. I expect feedback on my posts, both good and bad. I expect to further discuss topics where I have simply planted a seed. I expect that you will write to me with questions and ideas of topics you would like me to talk about - most subjects will be within limits - though please keep it G rated and relevant.


I do not think that everything I say will please all people all of the time. Tom Peters once said "If no one is pissed-off with you then you are dead but just haven't figured it out yet."


Question: Do you find it to be effective to under promise over deliver? How do you manage others expectations?